I’m back from the beach, and as usual, coming home feeling slightly bittersweet. It’s hard not to feel sad when suddenly your daily routine doesn’t consist of sleeping in until 10, having a leisurely breakfast, changing into a swimsuit, walking to the beach, relaxing on the beach for a few hours, coming home, relaxing in a pool, having dinner, then relaxing in a hot tub, before finally playing video games and heading to sleep.

Yeah, that’s the life.

But it is nice to get back to my own bed again, and my cat (and the tiny kitten my roommate got while we were away!!)

But I think the main reason I feel bittersweet is because of a boy.

On the last night we were there, everyone except me and Connor’s cousin (did I mention he’s from England and therefore has a sexy accent?) went inside to do dishes, leaving us alone to finish what was left of the salad so it didn’t go to waste. As soon as everyone else left, his tone completely changed, he started using this soft sweet voice (which, when coupled with the British accent, is enough to make anyone melt) and laughing at my jokes (seriously, they weren’t even funny). It was very very strange.  So here I am, sitting at this table, watching my boyfriend’s cousin flirt with me. And feeling guilty because I am very much enjoying it. If you’ve ever had a British person talk to you with that voice, you’d understand. It’s impossible to resist. Our conversation didn’t last more than five minutes, but it colored my entire relationship with him.

And the guilt. Thinking about it, I realized that I did try to spend as much time as possible around this guy, tried to put myself in positions where we would have the chance to interact. For a while I was debating whether or not I have a huge crush on Connor’s cousin (which would be pretty bad) but I think it’s not that. I think it’s just that of all Connor’s cousins, I relate to him the best. I’m definitely not a girly-girl like all the girl cousins, so it’s hard to relate to them, and Connor and I are just sort of in a rut so we don’t really interest each other anymore. He’s also quick-witted and interesting. You never really know what he’s going to say, but it’s always something good.

Maybe in a different situation, it could have turned into something. But as it is (and maybe disappointing as it is) I may not ever see him again. And it kind of makes me sad, how many people just pass in and out of our lives, but excited, because interesting people are everywhere waiting to be met.

~ by kiranapoleon on August 5, 2009.

One Response to “Connecting”

  1. awww I can see how that could be bittersweet… I love British accents so I don’t blame you, I definitely couldn’t resist either.

    At least you had a good time and got to come back with some good memories with him.

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